Just What is Midlife and Does There Have to Be a Crisis? Part One - It's Not All About Age By Kate Sanner

Just what is midlife? Many people define midlife by chronological age – some say it starts at 35 and ends at 50; others say 40-60 and still others 45-65. But age alone does not accurately portray the definition of midlife. Midlife – or Middle Adulthood - is a normal developmental life stage, and as with all stages of human development from infancy through old age, it can be defined by the developmental tasks that are associated with it rather than just chronological age.

It's funny...when you search online for a definition of midlife what you get are a lot of negative connotations associated with it; for example, you may immediately find the term midlife crisis thrown in there. Does there always have to be a crisis in midlife? I’ll examine this issue of “midlife crisis” later in the series. But a short answer to this question is “No” and I think we do this rich stage of life a disservice when we portray only the downside of it.

Here is where focusing on the developmental tasks of midlife is really helpful; these tasks allow us to see the positive as well as the negative side of midlife. As a student of human development, I especially like to look at the work of Erik Erikson, a German psychologist/ psychotherapist whose work spanned many decades of the 20th century. He divided life into eight stages that extended from birth to death.

His theory was revolutionary as most developmental theories only covered childhood. Psychological-Social (psychosocial) development continues throughout the life span and is not only specific to childhood.

Each stage of life, Erikson theorized, has a crisis associated with it and the crisis would either result in a positive outcome or in a negative one.

For example, the developmental crisis of Infancy is Trust vs. Mistrust. If an infant's physical and emotional needs are met sufficiently, the infant successfully experiences the positive outcome of this crisis - the ability to trust others. The infant becomes a securely attached toddler and enters the next developmental crisis of Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt having a solid foundation.

The negative outcome of this stage was sadly experienced on a significant scale in the 1990's when the stories of the developmental deficits of Romanian adoptees hit the media. Most of these children were warehoused in orphanages and never received the nurturing and the interaction from their caretakers that all babies need in order for their brains to develop. The damage caused by never achieving trust in their caretakers and their environment was permanent and resulted in attachment, learning and behavioral problems to name just a few.

Each developmental stage scaffolds on the previous one and one’s success in later stages really depends on how well the previous stage was navigated.

Erikson delineated five distinct stages and crises of childhood: Infancy (Trust vs. Mistrust), Early Childhood (Trust vs. Mistrust), Preschool (Initiative vs. Guilt), School Age (Industry vs. Inferiority) and Adolescence (Identity vs. Role Confusion). He divided the stages of adulthood into Young Adulthood (Intimacy vs. Isolation), Middle Adulthood (Generativity vs. Stagnation) and Older Adulthood (Ego Integrity vs. Despair).

I will get into more specifics about midlife in Part Two of this series but first let me lay the groundwork for the developmental tasks associated with the three stages of adult life.

In Young Adulthood, the challenge or crisis is to find and create significant and meaningful relationships. It is the time of finding a spouse or life partner, creating a family and developing friendships. As a result of doing so, a person achieves intimacy, the positive outcome of this stage. If a person doesn’t develop these relationships, the negative outcome is isolation.

In Middle Adulthood, the developmental task is to continue to work creatively and productively on the career and family one has created. During this time, we pass along values and norms to the next generation. Our focus begins to grow beyond the immediate focus of family and friends and extends out into our communities, the nation and the world. Meaningful work is very important in this stage of life. Those who successfully navigate these developmental tasks will achieve a sense of accomplishment and purpose. Erikson referred to the positive outcome as generativity – a sense that we are contributing to the world. The failure to successfully accomplish these tasks will result in the negative outcome of this developmental crisis which is self-absorption or stagnation.

Older Adulthood is focused on reflecting back on life. If we can look back on our lives and appreciate our accomplishments and our contributions, feel a sense of satisfaction and few regrets, then we will achieve a positive outcome of this stage’s developmental crisis – what Erikson called ego integrity - a sense of wholeness and completeness. If we feel our lives have no meaning, or our lives have been wasted and therefore we have many regrets, we will experience the negative outcome of this developmental crisis which is despair.

Midlife is a rich stage of life that has more to do with growth and possibilities rather than reaching a certain age and having a crisis. Part Two of this series will focus on the crossroads of midlife and successfully and satisfyingly navigating beyond them.

Kate Sanner is the CEO and founder of Vivacity. She has been a psychotherapist for nearly two decades and is an expert in human development. Now as a coach and "Jump Instructor", Kate helps a woman on the verge of doing great things to take the leap into the life she has been dreaming of...whether it's starting a business, writing a book or fulfilling a life long ambition. Once a woman has made the jump, Kate then provides tools and resources so that a woman can continue to take herself to new levels and to maximize and monetize all her efforts for continuous growth, financial gain and success. She is also a podcaster, Ezine publisher and internet radio show host. To get a FREE copy of Vivacity's "The Think and Play BIG System"™, a 10 Step, 46-page guide,- a $57 value - that shows you how to bring your vision for your enterprise into reality and onto new levels, go to http://vivacitynow.com and fill in your first name and primary email address in the box in the upper right hand corner, then click on Yes, Send My System Now.