Baby Boomers - Single Life and the Midlife Transition By Dr. Toni LaMotta

Single people at midlife have special challenges. But, it IS possible to create a fulfilling life partnership. For some, being single itself constitutes a midlife crisis of sorts. Even if you are the one who chose to leave the relationship, it can still be challenging. The good news about a crisis is that it forces us to do something new.

Success in partnerships at midlife demands new skills and greater self knowledge.

To attract and create a new partnership you must:

Get clear on what you want for yourself. If you haven't done it already, it is time to create the vision for your life. You could use vision boards or simply write out the script. What would an ideal partnership look like? How do you want to be relating? How will you feel?

If you have had a failed relationship (there really are no failures - but, you might not have had what you really want!) - it's time to brush up on good communication skills. I'd recommend non-violent communication as a start. It helps you truly get in touch with and express your needs and wants.

Perhaps it is time to create a new support system. Many times your friends will feel conflicted if they were friends with both you and your partner. You may want to join a support group or an existing social group in your community where you can develop new friendships.

Be sure to nurture the relationships you already have - with your parents if possible - and with your children as well.

Be sure to step out of the box. If you have not been a risk taker, it may be time to do that now. If you've taken too many risks, attempt to go it on the safer side. In other words, do something different. You know the old definition of insanity - 'doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results'.

Last but not least - find all the ways you can to enjoy your own company first - and learn to BE the Love you want to attract.

Do you want a support system to help you get clear and stay on track with what you REALLY want in Midlife. When you subscribe to my free Reinvent Midlife newsletter, you'll receive instant access to a special report called, "7 Secrets for Reinventing Midlife from the Inside-Out". You can do that now at http://www.reinventmidlife.com

From Dr. Toni LaMotta, Midlife Reinvention Specialist, Best-Selling Author of "What You Really Want, Wants You, International Keynote Speaker

Baby Boomers and the Midlife Transition - Are You Clear About Your Values? By Dr. Toni LaMotta

There is a process that I learned many years ago that I find very helpful for people of all ages, but especially for people in midlife looking to make a transition - whether it be at work or relationships. I would like to share it with you here. It is vitally important to have a clear understanding of the principles and values that guide our life decisions. Do you know yours?

How to Get Clear on Your Values

Ask yourself or have someone ask you the question, 'What's important to you in life?" - Ask the question and write down the answers that come to your mind - spontaneously. Don't pause to evaluate or prioritize, just list what comes to you. Keep asking the question - at least 10 times. But, I suggest asking it four or five more beyond when you think you've exhausted everything.

Be sure you are talking about what I would call 'end' values rather than 'means' values. What I mean by that is - saying that you value family is really a MEANS value. It is probably a means to LOVE as the end value. End values might be things like Honesty, Clear Communication, Prosperity, Freedom, Adventure, etc.

Once you have made a list that you thing is complete, begin to prioritize in the following way. Compare the first response on the list with each other response and IF you could only have ONE of these values, which would you pick? So, let's say your values are:

Love

Honesty

Freedom

Creativity

Ask - if you could have only one - what would it be - Love or Honesty? Put a check mark next to the one chosen. Next ask, if you could only have one, Love or Freedom, what would it be? Put a check there. If you could only have one - Love or Creativity, what would it be? Check it. Next ask - if you could only have one - Honesty or Freedom.... Only one - Honesty or Creativity..

Keep comparing down the list until every possible combination of two is considered. You might be very surprised to find the values that have the most checks. Most of the time, it is NOT the first few you put on your list. Then, look at the top three values on your list and ask yourself, how are they being experienced in my life? If they aren't, you've got your work cut out!

By the way, since YOU created the list, YOU can change it. But, don't just change the words on the page. You may find that your life has been ruled by values you no longer cherish. It's time for a reinvention!

And so, I would like to offer a support system to help you continue to explore your values and get what you REALLY want in Midlife. When you subscribe to my free Reinvent Midlife newsletter, you'll receive instant access to a special report called, "7 Secrets for Reinventing Midlife from the Inside-Out". You can do that now at http://www.reinventmidlife.com

From Dr. Toni LaMotta, Midlife Reinvention Specialist, Best-Selling Author of "What You Really Want, Wants You, International Keynote Speaker